Aries: Today, your lucky charm just might be a hot guy with an emerald tongue. Let the green fever take over and embrace all the new adventures that come your way! Just don't forget to wear sunscreen on your naughty bits.
Taurus: With Venus aligning with Mars in your chart, you're sure to find yourself a delicious hunk of beefcake today. Make sure not to overindulge or you might end up feeling bloated for the rest of the day.
Gemini: Today is all about balance, my dear Gemini! If you find yourself attracted to two equally hot guys, don't fret. The universe will guide you to your perfect pairing in no time. Just remember: two tops make a very happy bottom.
Cancer: The stars align for a romantic interlude today, Cancer. With Jupiter and Neptune playing nice, you might find yourself swept off your feet by a true gentleman. And who knows? Maybe he'll even offer to wash the dishes afterwards!
Leo: The big cat in you is purring with anticipation for today's celestial events. Venus and Mars are about to put on a fireworks display that will leave you breathless. Just don't forget your condoms, or else you might end up with more than just a firework show.
Virgo: Today, the stars say you should indulge in some self-care. Soak in a warm bath with some aromatic oils and let your worries melt away. Just remember to keep an eye on the water temperature; nobody wants a scalding surprise!
Libra: Balance is key for you today, Libra. If you find yourself torn between two equally charming gentlemen, don't stress. The universe will guide you towards true love in no time. And who knows? Maybe both of them can become friends with benefits.
Scorpio: Today's celestial events are putting a little extra spice in your life, Scorpio. With the Moon in its full phase, it's the perfect time to get a little wild and adventurous. Just remember: safe words are essential for any new exploration!
Sagittarius: The stars have aligned for a night of fun and excitement today, Sagittarius. Whether you find yourself at a dance club or a gay bar, make sure to keep an open mind and heart. You never know who might capture your fancy!
Capricorn: Today's horoscope has your number written all over it, Capricorn. With Venus and Mars doing their thing in the sky, you're bound to find yourself a worthy partner to explore the depths with. Just remember to pack your snorkel gear!
Aquarius: The stars are playing peek-a-boo today, Aquarius. But don't worry, they have a little surprise in store for you later. Keep an eye out for any mysterious knocks at your door; it might just be the love of your life!
Pisces: Today's horoscope is all about finding your inner calm and peace, Pisces. With Neptune aligning with Jupiter, take some time to meditate or relax in a hot bath. Just remember not to mix your meditation with any intoxicating substances!